Joe, Inc.

Looking for a job is like running my own company where I am the CEO, VP Finance, VP Marketing, salesman, secretary, mail guy, and, finally, the product. The marketing tools are getting better, but the product could use some work.

I have been developing all manner of marketing tools to move myself. I've got the resume, letters, business cards, stylish clothes, and a winning smile. I try to sell myself to by giving my run-down: "I won't break," "I'll work hard for you," "If you are not fully satisfied after 30 days, you can trade me in for a new one." So far no biters, but I think my tactics are sound. My financial situation, on the other hand, is nearing insolvency.

I have gotta say that being my own finance guy has given me a new meaning of the word "scrounge". I have a dewy respect for accountants and the work they do. Companies need money to get things like new equipment; I need it to eat. I have taken some night work to continue operations of Joe, Inc., but I am not proud of it. It feels like fixing my own books.

I am thinking of firing my CEO. He isn't producing many results, but I guess he isn't working with a product with a lot of depth. The mailguy is pretty hot, but the secretary isn't very attractive. The salesman is pretty lazy, and bordering on incompetent. I have caught him sleeping at the job on several occasions and he has left some stupid messages on potential clients' voicemails.

With all the down-sides though, I think Joe, Inc. is going to take off so invest now (send money)!

Now if I could get someone to merge with me,

Joe