The Weather

Maybe there is no use in talking (complaining) about the weather, but like so many before me, I am going to anyway. Since moving to Calgary on the Prairie, I am somewhat dumbfounded by the weather. Never before have I looked at weather reports so intently. Every day is dictated by the weather reports I view in the morning. "Is it going to be -15 or +21?" (That is actually not that unusual.)

First, what kills me is that the weather reports are seldom right. I bet there is no real designation for being a meteorologist other than having a cool-sounding name and being able to step aside when a map screen comes on. I can see them all "graduating" now. "Don," they inquire, "can you say 'precipitation'?"... "Want to be the weather guy?" And they immediately hand him a certificate or whatever. Yes, I just going to come out and say it: they are not good at what they do. So, I decided to hedge my bets.

I took to looking at more than one report. I have been going to The Weather Network and Environment Canada to check both, just to make sure the information I am getting is good. Well, I have been surprised to find they are never the same! They have totally different reports. One says rain and 15, the other sun and 29: just how do you dress for that? Science my ass.

The other thing that drives me bonkers is that these guys have no remorse. They never admit that they are wrong. The day previous they could have said anything. "It's going to be a hot one tomorrow, I tells ya," or "Hah, hah, hah... you better break out that sunscreen, 'cause it's gonna be a scorcher." Well, that doesn't pan out, and the next day: nothing! No "guess I really shat the bed on that one, hey Frank," or "wow, I really blew that report yesterday, hey." Not even a sniff.

Anyone from the Prairies is propable mildly amused that I have any faith in the weather reports, and I am learning slowly to take them with a grain of salt. For example, today, while watching the news, we received a weather warning on the TV promising hale the size of baseballs, thunder, lightning, plagues of toads: I turned my head slightly to find not but blue skies. And I have seen nothing but since. Good old prairie weather? Maybe. Naive coastal boy, absolutely.